


New furniture

by Ilyasviel



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Blow Jobs, F/M, Shameless Smut, Smut, Tantric Chair, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 03:30:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12472480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilyasviel/pseuds/Ilyasviel
Summary: Shepard and Joker had finally declared their feelings, but are having some troubles to 'fulfil' their relationship. His Vrolik syndrome keeps the real sex away from them and is beginning to affect her. Deciding to find a solution, she makes a bit of research on the extranet until she founds the perfect item for them, a Tantric Chair.





	New furniture

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry! I will begin with a 'Sorry' xDDDDD that stupid idea appeared on my mind yesterday nigth, and I needed to write it XD
> 
> Just in case you need a reference, this is a [Tantric chair](https://images.prod.meredith.com/product/9e87be54ea3dff9af5214ffe66f643ed/945a007de63af9ff28cdb782729e6aa09bcb5236193824435f2651fce5ae08f7/l/us-pride-furniture-faux-leather-deluxe-stretch-chaise-relaxation-and-yoga-chair-with-removable-pillows-dark-brown) and those are some of the [possibilities](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/23/1f/85/231f851d9d395276eac9865b83b09701--sexy-positions-tantra.jpg) it brings xD
> 
> Besides that, I played a bit with the idea that the future Tantric or Tantra chairs will be more 'resourceful' XDDD so be kind with me and don't judge my depravity on that hahahaha
> 
> As always, no beta reader. All the typos are mine to bear ;) let me know what you think and if you find something that makes your eyes bleed in my grammar, just let me know and I will correct it!

Joker has gone from her room when Shepard wakes up, again. The night before has been another disaster. Well, not a disaster, they kissed, they touched, they enjoyed themselves. But the sex, damn, what sex? To whom she wants to fool? They try it, every single time, and every time they have to change for manual or oral interaction. Is not like she wasn’t happy, he has a marvellous tongue, but… she craves the feeling of fullness, the connection with him that only sex will give her. But for now, they will have to work with what they have. Maybe she can make some changes to her room? The bed's too hard, the couches too low, the desk too high… She has to find a solution. Damn, she hasn’t come back from the dead to be punished with an eternal pent-up. Sitting against the headboard, she opens her omnitool, searching for something that can help her with their ‘little problem’.

The browsing through the extranet pages makes a deep blush appears on her face, and even her, who has looked a reaper in the eyes and said him ‘fuck you’, has to close some of the results with a disgusted grin or a gasp when the image is excessively erotic. But after an hour, she yells a satisfied ‘yes!’ when she finds exactly what they need. Ordering it, she checks the arrival time and claps happily when it says that the item is available at the Citadel. She sends the message to deliver it immediately to the Normandy when it docks, and contacts Rupert, asking him to move the box to her quarters as soon as it arrives and retire a set of couches from her room. Shepard sends a requisitions order to get a much softer mattress for her bed, marking in red letters and highlighting the words SOFTER. Closing the omnitool with a contented sigh, she jumps from the bed and walks to the bathroom. Today will be the day, and she can’t wait!

Taking a very long shower, she takes care of her hair and skin with some of the products Kelly left for her in her quarters. They smelled sweet, a mix between vanilla and rose, and her skin feels like silk, even the big red scars lose part of their hardness under the touch. Once ready, she dresses up with her fatigues and leaves her quarters, taking the elevator to do her usual round.

Times flow while she talks with Miranda, Mordin, Jacob and Garrus. Jack didn’t want to speak with her for more than five minutes yet, but she can see the wall between them fracturing a bit more every day. Shepard is in the elevator on her way to the crew deck when her omnitool pings with a message from Rupert. The box is in her room, and they have retired one of the couches, as she has asked. Clapping happily, she waits until the elevator stops, exiting it and running to the observation deck to pick up some booze for the night. Advantages of working for Cerberus. There are no regulations about alcohol aboard the ship and thanks to her implants she can take more than before without even having a hangover the next day. Selecting a couple of bottles of wine and brandy, she returns to the elevator, moving directly to her quarters. As soon as she enters, the big box near her bed attracts her full attention. Leaving the bottles on the desk, she closes the distance to it, jumping over the stairs with a happy grin. Taking a look around, she sees Rupert has retired the couch beside the desk. Humming to herself, Shepard begins to reorganise the space. First, she moves the nightstand from the right side of the bed beside the desk. With some effort and a lot of swearing from her, the bed is pushed until it is touching the wall. After that, she moves the reading chair near the couches area before sliding the other nightstand near the bed.

Climbing up the stairs once she finishes, Shepard takes a look to the room. The distribution is not as perfect and 'super zen', like Kelly like to calls it, as before, but it will work. Eyeing the clock over the desk, she opens her omnitool and sends Joker a message to be there in half an hour, when his shift ends. Without waiting for his answer, she jumps back to the lower level and opens the box. The black synthetic leather shines under the light. Pulling off the sides of the box, she stacks them near the stairs before following the smooth curves of the new couch with her fingers. Damn, can’t wait to use it! She shakes her head to erase from her mind, for now, the things she wants to do in that chair, pushing it to the area near the bed and keeping it away from the walls to move around freely. Once happy with the position, she recovers the pieces of the box and puts them outside the room, tomorrow will be enough time to dispose of them correctly. Returning inside, she takes a quick look at the watch, seeing that Joker will be there soon. A wicked idea crosses her mind, and she begins to strips before the door to her quarters closes behind her. Throwing the discarded clothes to one of the couches, she sits on the new chair in her underwear, legs crossed and looking intently at the door. He will be there soon, and she wants to see his face when he sees the new furniture.

She just needs to wait for a couple of minutes until the sound of the elevator stopping on her floor reaches her. With a devilish grin, she fixes her gaze on the door, body on full display for him to enjoy. The doors open, and Joker appears on it, adjusting the cap on his head. When his gaze falls over the almost naked body waiting in front of him, his hands remain midair while his mouth opens. Shepard enjoy the moment, seeing her boyfriend lose the ability to talk or even move. “Hello, love. Do you like your present?” She opens her legs, moving them to the sides of the chair before laying in the lower curve, bosom in full display for Joker. Raising a hand, she beckons to him, and that seems to push the power button in his brain, because he complies immediately, door locking behind him.

Going down the stairs, Joker closes the distance to the chair, leaning a hand on her head. “I like it. Where did you have found a Tantric Chair?” He keeps petting her hair, but his eyes move up and down her back, brain already thinking about all the things he can do to her in that chair.

Her answer is almost a purr, Shepard enjoys those little moments, but can’t wait to move to the next one. “Citadel. Extranet. And a lot of goodwill and credits. Now, do you want to use your present? I will assume you have more information about what we can do with it than I." Sitting back again, she lays her hand on it, between her legs and pushing their breast together for a good show. “I’m yours to command tonight, love.”

Joker can feel a shiver running up and down his back when her words sink into his brain. “If that's the case…” moving to the end of the couch, he beckons at her with a finger before opening the zip of his trousers and freeing his already hard cock. He doesn't even have to voice his orders before Shepard lays down, resting on her chest, mouth at the perfect height. Leaning his legs on the soft couch, Joker closes the distance to her, the head of his cock searching the heat of her mouth. He slips inside, hands going directly to the back of her head, keeping her in place when he begins the move in and out of her heat. As always, her mouth and tongue are like a drug, pleasure moving directly to his brain and making his blood boil. Risking a look down, the image of the powerful Commander letting him fuck her mouth is too much, and a gasp escapes from his lips, making the damn woman giggle around his cock. Pulling away, he slides his hands to cup her face, wiping the spit that covers her chin with his thumbs. Bending his waist, he plants a soft kiss on her forehead, “turn away for me, will you? I’ll join you soon.” Moving away from her, Joker begins to strip while moving to the couches, where he begins to stack his clothes, piece by piece. Before taking off the underwear, he turns to face her again, “Panties out, Commander. I will take care of your bra later.” Muttering a low ‘bossy pilot’, she raises her legs to the couch, arching her back to take off the underwear as ordered. When she sits back in position, she throws the offending piece of clothing to him while he moves closer, naked as the day he was born. Catching it mid-air, he extends them in front of his face, a devilish grin on his face. “If you keep fulfilling my fantasies, Jane, someday I will make you wear a special pair of panties, maybe a cute garter belt with sexy stocking.” Letting his arms fall while he keeps walking to her, the underwear slip from his fingers, totally forgotten by them. Once he reaches it, he sits in front of her, legs open on each side of the couch and resting his back on the chair. “Come here, love. Let me kiss you properly.”

“My pleasure.” Moving until she is kneeling between his legs, Shepard lays down over him, hands resting on his powerful shoulders while his arms wrap around her upper body. Their lips find the perfect position and rhythm immediately. His beard tickles her at first, as always, but is so soft and smell just like him that she didn’t care. Joker’s lips are soft and pliant under hers, the kiss is a languid one, and she knows without words that he is saying ‘thank you’ for the present. Smiling into the kiss, she opens her mouth slightly, just enough to let the tip of her tongue caress his lower lip. But this simple gesture is the sign he has been waiting for. Tightening the grip on her back, he slips his tongue inside of her mouth, drinking the moan that escapes her control. One of his hands moves to her nape while the other finds a nice spot on her lower back, his long fingers grabbing part of an ass cheek. Pushing her to lay her on the couch with all his body, back arching thanks to the sinuous form of the chair. He didn’t breaks the kiss while changing their positions, sliding her body until her head is almost hanging from the edge of the couch. Moving away from her slowly, he keeps planting soft kisses on her lips, her chin, the curve of her neck, her collarbones, between her breasts, down her abs. By the time he is seating again, she is a panting mess, chest raising in quick movements, waiting for his move.

Joker takes a second to etch this image in his mind; Jane, wearing just a lacy bra, sprawled naked in front of him, tighs closing to apply some pressure on her aching core and vibrating with desire. “Damn, Jane. You are too perfect to be real.” Sliding his hands up her legs, he forces her to open for him, a soft growl leaving him when he sees how wet she already was. His thumbs find their way to her curls, moving up and down her inner lips and making her arch her back even more with a mewl. When he reaches her clit, his thumb begins to draw little circles on it, with quick and slightly hard movements, making her moan. His other hand slides down, thumb tracing her slight. Reaching the perineum, he applies some pressure there before inserting two fingers inside, twisting his wrist in every pump.

Her body begins to tremble soon, and she uses all the control she has to raise her head, talking with a broken voice, “Damn,Jeff-- stop the fu-fucking teasing!”

Joker keeps moving his hand intently, adding some extra pressure to her clit, “I’m not teasing, love. I’m getting you ready for what I plan to do with you next.” His words, together with his deft fingers make her reach her peak with a scream, something that sounds like his name mixed with a swear and moaned high enough to scare the fishes in the aquarium upstairs. She is still floating between the clouds of pleasure when he moves up his hands grabbing her hips and forcing her body to slide down the couch. When her hips are close enough, he positions himself to enters her core. She is so wet that he slides inside without any effort. His growl raises to the sky, followed by her moan. The damn chair gives him the perfect position to sit comfortably without any discomfort, God, he can’t say thank you enough to her for it. So instead of talking, he decides to show his gratitude with his body. Shepard is lying on the couch, back arched in pleasure and wiggling in front of him. Angling his hips, he moves inside of her with slow circles, his pelvic bone pressing her nub and adding a new layer of pleasure. Fixing her hips with an arm, his free hand sliding up her abs to capture a breast, squeezing it softly before moving the cup away and begin to twist the nipple between his fingers.

Shepard’s hands had been idle, hanging from the edge of the couch, but she moves them to grab Joker’s arm, words leaving her mixed with moans, “Please, Jeff-- I need you.”

“And you have me.”

A harder twitch on her nipple makes her back arch like a bow, head falling back to the couch with a thud. “Damn, Joker! Harder! Please…”

Her plea seems to have the desired effect on him because he pushes away her hand before slipping from her body with a hiss. She lays breathless for several seconds while he pushes away her legs enough to stand up. Moving to the head of the couch, he waits until she is conscious enough in the haze of her pleasure to look at him. With a pat in front of him, he asked her to move. While she complies, with wobbly legs, he pushes some controls on the back of the couch, opening some kind of leg rests. When Shepard is beside him, he pins her against the chair with his body, kissing her passionately, his hardened member caged between them. His fingers open her bra with practiced ease, discarding it over his shoulder without breaking the kiss. Joker's right hand slides from her nape to her waist, nails scratching her back just how she likes it. Once in position, the other joins the first, helping her to jump up the little distance she needs to sit on the edge of the couch. Breaking the kiss, he pushes her back making her use her arms to stay upright. Joker positions her legs on the leg rests before pulling her hips forward, making her ass float outside the couch. “Now, my dear Jane, I’m gonna give you what I dreamed about since we met three years ago.” Her breathless ‘yes’ get lost in the combined moan they make when he enters her in a quick and hard movement. Shepard moves his hands to grab the back of the couch while he closes clawing fingers around her hips, keeping them in place while his hips mark and steady and hard pace. Being able to stay on his legs is good, but they will hurt like hell later, but Gods be damned if he will not enjoy every single second of it. The sound of her voice grew louder, pitching here and there with sweet little screams of pure joy. Soon, he can feel the pleasure peak catching her again. Her legs trembled slightly. Her voice turned even more breathless. The walls of her core pulsating around him in an irregular rhythm. Bending his waist, he kisses her breast, biting one of her nipples hard enough to make her howl a mix between a scream and a moan. “Come for me, love.”

Using the support of the leg rests, she raises her hips, back arched and shoving her breast on Joker’s mouth with passion. The orgasm hits her unannounced, eyes shut down, but she can see stars behind her eyelids. Shepard loses the ability to think, to breath, even her heart stops beating for a second before peaking up into a crazy rhythm. Joker keeps pounding inside of her while she cums, her body a trembling mess in his arms.

When the tension on her body lessens, Joker pulls away from her, taking her two arms in a hand and pushing aside her tired legs from the leg rests. “I’m not done with you, love.” The softest and cutest moan he ever heard is her answer. “I’m gonna slide you down. Don’t worry, I got you.” She lets her upper body fall back, and he guides her down, sliding over the slippery surface to the lowest curve of the couch. With their hands still entangled, he moves to the side of the couch, joining her. Kissing her softly, he grabs her hips, the red marks of his fingers already marking her pink skin. “Turn around, Jane.” With some help from his hands, she turns over her tummy, and he pushes her up until her ass is exactly where he wants it. Pressing a concealed button on one side of the chair makes a secondary seat appear. The ergonomic form is perfect to sit kneeling on it, with independent supports for every leg. With some effort from his tired legs, he positions himself on the new chair, moving it closer to her. Grabbing her ass cheeks with force, he pulls her back, eliciting a low moan from her when his cock moves over her cleft. Guiding himself inside of her with a hand, he leans the other beside her on the couch and pushes inside with a hard movement. The chair bends with him, giving him the perfect angle to thrust inside of her. When he is fully sheathed, the now free hand searches her neck, pulling her to him while his hips mark a hard and quick rhythm that got them moaning louder in no time. This time he didn’t save anything for later. Straightening his position, he grabs her arms, pulling her body to him and forcing her back to arch. Her legs fixed themselves behind his back, hitting him with every thrust of his hips, but none of them can care less about it right now.

Shepard is lost in the haze of pleasure... Her brain is melted, wholly focused on the feelings of her body. And Joker... He is living a fucking dream right now. After several minutes, Joker feels the orgasm pull his balls. Her body is milking him as no one has ever done, and in half a dozen of thrust more, he buries himself deep inside of Shepard, cock pulsing while his semen fills her. Luckily for his manly pride, the sound of his voice, broken and breathless while screaming her name, and the feeling of his cum filling her insides does the trick for her, making her have another mindblowing orgasm. As soon as his cock stops spurting, he lets her arms go, falling over her back. Her skin is coated with a thin layer of sweat. The scent of sex almost covering her own perfume. Kissing her shoulder blades, he tries to keep some of his weight from her.

Giggling softly under him when his beard tickles her back, she uses her superior force to push them up, his softening cock still buried inside of her. When they are seating, she looks over his shoulder with a contented grin on her freckled face. “I’ll say that you approve my present?”

Wrapping his arms around her, Joker buries his face in the crock of her neck. “I approve of you, my love. This is just the cream of the tart.”

The movement makes his cock slips away, making her sigh when she feels the cum dripping from her. “Talking about cream…” He pokes her ribs, trying to hide the smile on his face in her shoulder. “Hey! Whatever you want to call it, but I need to clean up. Care to join me in the shower?”

With a soft kiss behind her ear, he pulls back, giving her space to move. “Sure, but maybe I will need some help to reach the bathroom.”

Standing up from the couch, Shepard moves the chair to the side, helping him to disentangle from it. “It will be my pleasure.” Sliding an arm around his waist and grabbing one of his arms to cross it over her shoulders, they take the few steps that separate them of the bathroom between giggles and puns about the wobbly legs and unsteady pace. Reaching the bathroom, she sits him while the water heats. Raising him and moving them together under the spray of water, she hugs him, kissing his lips lovingly, mouth ghosting over his with featherlike movements. “Are you happy?”

“I was happy yesterday. Having you in my arms and knowing that I got the key to your heart was enough for me. But yeah, I’m happier today, because I can be a real boyfriend at last.”

Kissing him again, she pushes him against the wall, taking him away from the water and pinning him there with her hot and wet body. “We’ll find a way to make it work. Whatever it takes, whatever the cost. Soooo, no more sneaking from my bed in the mornings, understood, Flight Lieutenant? That’s a direct order.”

“Aye aye, Commander.”


End file.
